on having an opinion
The scariest thing about having an opinion (or accomplishing something, or just being known) is that people will disagree with you and criticize you. There’s no way around it; the more people know about you the more criticism you will receive. (Sure, you can switch off the comments or never read them, but I think in most cases, that’s not the way to go. Sometimes, yes, but not always.)
There will be people who hate you just because you are who you are, and try to mess with you because they feel threatened by you. That is a sad thing but at least I can deal with it.
But there will be people who give me honest and grounded opinions who differ from mine, people who prove very well that my ideas are wrong. I am now able to predict them, but I cannot guard against them unless I spend all the article fending off differing opinions instead of stating mine. (There are people who do that, and their articles feel just lukewarm and moderately boring to me.)
I think that it’s reasonable, as long as it doesn’t take too much time, to respond to the best counterarguments. Which means figuring out the opponent’s idea, understanding why it’s valid and stating why I disagree.
This means that I’m giving myself amounts of self-doubt that I wouldn’t normally have. This means that there are moments when I think that what I said or did was horribly, abysmally wrong, and now I’m tainted for life and people-will-never-like-me because of that. (Every time I write a critique about Latvian book, I’m pretty certain I’ve gained a life-long enemy. This far people have been very gracious though.)
Last time I got myself out there in the wilds, I got scared about it all and retreated back in my cave, whimpering, licking my wounds and feeling horribly inadequate and foolish.
Now, I hope that I’m stronger, and that my backup (meaning my husband, and a friend or two) will help me through.
