dreams vs personality
Sometimes, when I (the average unaccomplished, unripe and only moderately successful person) have big dreams, I stop yourself and say, now, dear, you look like a fool right now. You have such big hopes and goals and you reach for the stars, but in the end you might very well die still being average. Statistically, that’s the most likely outcome anyway.
So chances are I look like a total delusional fool, right?
But then I realized that if I’ll die being an average, people wouldn’t bother much about whether I look like a fool or not (except those who care about me; and from those, I’ll look like a fool only to those who don’t like me too much). So, all in all, there’s no use to worry about how do I look for a mostly uncaring world (and it isn’t a bitter thought, it’s actually quite a reassuring one).
So if it doesn’t matter either way I’d rather have big dreams and fail miserably (or succeed grandly) than have tiny dreams and tiny failures and tiny victories. The latter seems just…boring.
But it’s not about that, not only about that.
Today, I had a meeting with my boss, and she seemed to be impressed with my progress as a copywriter. Of course, it’s due to many reasons–great colleagues, diverse pool of clients, marketing changing in ways I actually can dig, writing constantly–but I wondered, what had changed inside me during past year that the progress at work is noticeable? The only major shift has been the change in thinking, the shift from self-awareness of “I will look like a fool if I do this or say that” to a dreamer’s “this is what I believe in so I’m saying and doing it”.
When I stopped worrying whether I’m a fool or a genius, I started working better, and I started writing better. Actually, I started living better. I’m not that anxious any more, I’m not dwelling on past mistakes, and I’m not taking to heart whatever others may think of me (or, if somebody cares to offend me, I shrug it off more lightly than before).
It’s not some magic tool, and it’s not always easy. But it’s way better than the constant self-questioning.
What’s best, I know from personal experience that people driven by dreams are way more inspiring to others than people driven by their own mediocrity. And it doesn’t matter in the least whether they are actually successful or just wild dreamers. It doesn’t matter even, if they look like a fools. They matter to me, they change me, and even if I don’t like them they leave an imprint in my life.
What more could one dream of?
“people driven by their own mediocrity.” – there’s no such thing.
Well, not exactly “driven”. More like people who are getting along with their own mediocrity, never dreaming (or dreading) anything outside their zone of comfort.