battle actions
Vega got 697 words with a lead for today, so it’s fine. I’m trying not to dwell on how far behind on my weekly goal I was: today, a new week starts, and I hope it’ll be a productive one. Even with the things I must do to keep my RL moving forward… I need to find a way to steel myself against those snide remarks that have been pushing me over the edge recently; I don’t remember being this frustrated, this vulnerable since forever. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment, nobody would. And my husband certainly doesn’t have to suffer the consequences of somebody else hurting me.
So, screw it. Until some point, I can justify this, I can see my own faults, I can try to do my best, I can try to avoid making these little mistakes that somehow all end up being targets of future attacks, I can use it all to be a better person. That point has long been passed, and I’m currently in a place where every little step I take to live up to his expectations is making me a worse person, a stressed-out overachieving bitch with no sense of perspective.
Well, not any more.
Also, I submitted The Final Turn yesterday and I licked Siren up to a point where it’s ready for beta-reading. That’s the good stuff, that’s what I should be proud of and that’s where I should seek and find my self-assurance, not in the eyes of somebody who doesn’t know me, doesn’t respect me and doesn’t give a damn about my feelings (except the obvious “haha, here’s how I can piss her off” attention).
