afraid to be wrong
Due to my troublemaker nature, I got myself in bigger mess than I expected. So here is what I learned (well, besides the fact that I can full well grow up but dropping trouble-making entirely isn’t going to happen any time soon): the thing that I am truly afraid of when poking the anthill is not being demeaned by people who don’t agree with me, and not being seen as ignorant. This is what pretty much comes with the package, and I don’t really mind even if people that I respect deeply seem to lose that respect for me, if they ever had it.
What I am afraid of is being wrong, retrospectively, in my own eyes.
I have to work on that though, since inevitably I will be wrong sometimes, somewhere, and I have to be able to face my mistakes and move on.
In other news, yesterday I expanded a 700-word scene to 1200-word scene and improved my WIP dramatically by adding several new plot points. Consequently, I don’t quite know how that thing will turn out now (since what I changed in my plans changes pretty much everything).
But that’s all right. That’s training. It seems that I *was* wrong before, thinking that I know how the plot goes, and in all likelihood I’ll turn out being wrong again and again as the plot progresses, and the only way I’m going to finish the book would be acknowledging I was wrong countless times and moving on. Every time, moving on.
